|
|
|
Hi.
This is my old weblog archive and is no longer actively updated. Please visit this link for my current blog.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Michael's Diary -- 2001-2003 Archive
|
|
| |
1.13.2001
Back from a lunch/supper at the Pike Place Brewery. A tasty chicken sandwich washed down with two absolutely deliciious winter ales. Then a walk through Pike Place itself. Little did I know that I am two blocks away from this Seattle landmark. A seafood lunch there tomorrow is in the cards. Walked around some more, looking for a CD by some local artists. No luck, but maybe tomorrow during my rambles.
Now, a nap to kill my travel headache and rest me up for some music tonight, a band called Electrochakra, at a Seattle glass-blowing factory.
9:02 PM
Hotel Ludicrously Nice, Seattle
An uneventful flight after getting up early. The plane actually boarded on time, and took off on time, and got in early. Surely a first. I had a whole row to myself, and plenty of overhead space for my guitar. The rental car service took a long time to get through the line of people but I finally got my car and whizzed in to downtown Seattle. Upon arrival at the hotel, I was really knocked out by the polite and courteous service. Then, I was informed that I had been upgraded to an executive suite at no charge. The bellman borught my stuff up -- and into this enormous room with 12-foot high ceilings. And that was just the hallway. Two TVs, couches, fridge, big bathroom. Too bad I am not staying here all week! But it's off to Redmond tomorrow.
Just chatted with G on the phone. I miss her so much when I am away and this is a long trip.
Now, I have to get some food before I pass out. Then some music and perhaps a beer or two.
6:07 PM
1.12.2001
I thought I should post before it gets too late, as I still have a load of packing to do for the trip. Quite a busy day for me today, with many exertions.
I was on my way into the shower when the customer we have been proposing to called, wanting clarification of a few things and a ballpark figure for even more potential work. As this could run into hundreds of thousands of dollars we had quite a long conversation. Looking good, at this point.
Showered up, dressed and got the laundry together. Had to bag up the down comforter because Boris got sick on it, and take it to the dry cleaners'. It was quite a struggle to get down the street with two massive blue hamper bags (cleverly designed by IKEA to have no handles of any kind) and a trash bag filled with comforter. I was perspiring like an ox by the time I got to the laundromat. Usually we do all our laundry here, but there was so much of it that the laundromat was the only logical solution. Got the laundry in, took the comforter to the dry cleaners', went back and got the laundry in the dryer. Then I had to go the pet shop because last night, after finishing my diary for the day, I wanted to move Gil's aquarium heater. It was in the back corner of the tank and he would hide behind it all the time. Kind of a bummer but it must be nice and warm. So, I wanted to move it to the center of the back wall of the tank. Alas, I left it out of the water too long, plugged in. It heated up and cracked instantly when plunged back into the water. So I got a new one, and some assorted doo-dads needed at the Walgreen's. Walked back to the laundromat for my exercise today. Then I had to get the laundry home. Since it was nice and fluffy now, the bags were bigger than when I brought them in. Also, I had bags from the pet shop and Walgreen's. And there are no handles, you will recall, on the laundry bags. I tried various ways of holding these massive bags, and nothing was working. Finally, I bought two giant plastic laundry bags from the vending machine in the laundromat and put the blue laundry bags in them, tied them together and slung them over my shoulders. Thus encumbered I staggered home, looking as if I was bearing the scrotum of an enormous member of the Blue Man Group.
Got all that crap upstairs and got airport-to-hotel directions and stuff together for tomorrow. I really feel homesick already and I will miss G awfully. Speaking of my lovely wife, she came home, lo and behold, bearing the beautiful Columbia jacket I saw at the store last night. She is such a peach. I was so psyched to have a good, waterproof jacket to wear to Seattle.
We ordered in from Leona's (I had a turkey sandwich, hold the mayo and a side of angel hair pasta marinara), folded laundry, started packing, and here I am.
I read an interesting article today in the Sun-Times about director Steven Soderbergh (Traffic and Sex, Lies and Videotape, among others). Turns out, when he was 12, he saw Jaws and was dying to know, how do you put together such a thing? "How did they make such an impression on me?" He read everything he could about Jaws, and then about moviemaking. Two years later he got work as a handyman on a movie set.
I was that kid. Jaws opened up a whole new world for me and I have been obsessed with pictures ever since. But for whatever reason, I never even thought that it was something I could actually do. Certainly, guidance counsellors did everything they could to push one toward a "steady job" and nothing off the beaten track. And so, I never went for it. Only last year or so in fact did I realize it was what I wanted to do since I was a kid and it's really the only regret of my life. (not that I am not happy now, but you know what I mean -- we all have a road less traveled somewhere in our lives).
Now, for sure, it's too late: if I'm lucky I could direct a movie by the time I reach 60. I guess the lesson is that I want to be very alert to this when we have kids and no matter how off the beaten path their interest is I want to make sure they can travel down that road, if they want to. I just thought it was interesting; here's this guy who was a kid just like me, same reactions and everything to Jaws, and now he is a big-shot moviemaker. Wow.
OK. Enough of that. Time to pack. See you in Seattle.
11:23 PM
Slept in -- way in -- this morning. This will probably do me some good jet-lag wise. Got up and spent about half an hour "waking up." G called and we talked for a few. Made an egg-white omelette with (too much) onion and some toast with nothing on it, some really good coffee and some wonderful iced tea from a company called Honest Tea. Had an email from my sister Maura confirming that my brother Teige has set his wedding date for August 11. Checked my usual online morning-things. Now a shower, meditation and a very busy afternoon of preparations for the big trip tomorrow.
12:26 PM
OK, well, nobody won Mr. Mike's musical trivia quiz yesterday: the line is Frank Zappa's signoff on the live version of "Muffin Man" on the Bongo Fury LP. Its originator is Jimmy Durante, who used to sign off his radio show with, "Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are!"
So there.
Last night as I practiced guitar I remembered how I wanted to mention again in this dairy how these really, really simple guitar exercsies, performed at a glacial 80 bpm, are just brutal. Focusing on finger placement, clean tone, time, and keeping both hands relaxed while running through these deceptively simple exercises really takes some concentration. It is rather like meditation in that at a certain point you get in a little pocket where everything is effortless, and you have a little glimpse of what effortless effort, tensionless tension, can be. Then, of course, you start staring at it and it eludes you and you completely cock up the exercise because your concentration is hosed. You come back to earth with a thump. Rather than being frustrating (which it isn't, mostly) it makes you want to practice more, so you can get another glimpse. And the practical flesh-and-blood upside is that daily fingering exercises are great for the hand muscles.
Today, got up on time, listened to Imus for a bit, then showered, dressed, packed lunch, prayed and meditated, fed Gil, let Boris out, and got to work on schedule. So far I have only skipped one scheduled day of meditation. I have refrained from tobacco of any kind and have stuck to my diet, except for tonight, which is the night I let myself have my slices of cheese pizza. From struggling with my weight on and off since roughly the fourth grade, I know that one way to guarantee I will not stick with a program is to deny myself all the things I like! Far better to allow occasional, moderate-to-minor enjoyment of these things. In my plan I allow myself two or three regular slices of cheese pizza per week, a piece of real chocolate per week (like tonight's Reese's cup) and one bowl of popcorn with butter per week. Everything else is in the 20-25% calories-from-fat range. Thursday night being bowling night, it works out well to be "cheat night" because there's never time to cook dinner for G and myself before we go off to meet our friends. I have found that, if I can look forward to the pleasure of eating moderate amounts of my favorite foods once or twice a week, I can deal with the plan. (As opposed to eating as much as I want of anything I like all the time!)
I must say that this dairy's aim of helping me keep commitments is really being achieved. Yesterday, when tempted to have a milkshake or some unscheduled pizza, I thought, "if I do that, I will have to admit it in my diary." This idea of making commitments public, inviting scrutiny, is a powerful motivator. If you haven't read my New Year's commitments I invite you to do so -- they appear in the very long January 2 entry, which you can navigate to using the archive buttons on the left.
Anyhow, so far, so good on the health commitments except, dang it, I just noticed, going over my to-do's, didn't get the walking in today. Big focus for next week is scheduling that exercise time as an appointment and sticking to it. It's a hell of a lot easier to get motivated to take a walk when people shovel their sidewalks. Well, being in snowless Seattle will help. Whole lotta nature there, so I'm told. Conducive to walks. Good deal.
So . . . went to work, discussed a few things there, ultimately packed up all my computer stuff and printed up all my pre-course reading material for the class I will be taking at Microsoft next week. There's a lot of it! Fortunately it is a four hour plane trip. I am spending tomorrow packing, preparing and reading anyway, here at home.
G was down at her old facility today on the South Side and came through town to pick me up. We scooted home and relaxed with each other for a while, then I dropped her off at the bar she meets her friends at for Thursday Night Drinking Club (as they call it). Then I whizzed up the the Martin's menswear in Lincoln Square and picked up some pants, jeans and a shirt, put a great jacket on hold there, stopped by the house and picked up a video of Kundun that has become redundant thanks to DVD, and swapped it for a couple of Robert Fripp CDs for in-flight listening (more apropos than the Disney/King Crimson swaps of a couple of days ago!).
Then it was off to the Marigold Bowl for a couple of games. A decent turnout tonight. I bowled a lot worse than last week but better than I occasionally do. Broke 100 both games, at least (we are all pretty crappy bowlers, but it's fun to hang and talk with the guys). Back home a little past 11:00. G was a little tipsy and already in bed. I checked email, sent a few messages, and now posting this late diary entry. Ah, the heck with it -- I can sleep until 9:00 tomorrow and still be "at work" by 9:30, because work is right here tomorrow. :) Yeesh. Just got a bewildering message about stack processes on a scary Windows Blue Screen of Death. Time to post and get out of here before this piece of crap crashes. Can't wait for that new Dell.
12:57 AM
1.10.2001
Today went well. A little groggy getting up but I did it, by 6:30. But then, I kinda snoozed watching Imus on MSNBC so I fell almost 30 minutes behind schedule. Got into the office and had my coffee, checked email, did a couple of things. Left early to go to the library to look up some stuff on guitar exercises. While I was copying the page I wanted from a magazine there was this strange wheezing laughter behind me. I turned around and there was this odd old man, who looked either homeless, a little mad, or both, reading through some little green books with scores in them -- Berlioz, I think, in one, Copland's Appalachian Spring in another. He was following the music with his left index finger and kinda conducting with his right hand. Every once in a while he would come to a passage and cackle, shaking his head -- the way I might do if Rey Ordonez turned a sparkling play at shortstop -- and go over the passage again and again. He caught my eye a couple of times but paid me no heed, just went on with this mad gleam in his eye.
I sidled away and hit the Brown Line. Got off at Diversey and walked over to Guitar Center. Mission: strings and a cheap volume pedal. They have one online for $25 or so, but the least the unfriendly and snide clerk told me I would pay for one was around $80. Thanks, bub. I was able to find a cheap distortion pedal, used, for $20, so I snagged that instead. Got some strings; they didn't have the silk and steel ones I like for the Ovation. I think they are made by ghs, and they add a warmth to the Ovie sound. I happen to like the brassy sound of Ovations but it's nice to add a little depth to the tone. Walked home to meet my exercise commitment for the day. Stopped in a used bookshop on Belmont. Second odd sight of the day: this very serious, professional-looking and attractive woman very seriously going through stacks and stacks of old Playboy magazines. Cool bookshop all the same -- lots of old Bond editions and a whole shelf of age of sail novels, which I will have to tap into once the queue of books is cleared and I go through the Patrick O'Brian books for a second time. Stopped at Record Emporium and swapped the two remaining Disney videos for The Who: BBC Sessions CD. Good deal there! I even got a dollar back.
Finally got home and made some spaghetti. Tried the pedal out. It sounded pretty much like a cheap distortion box, so I got what I paid for. Ate supper, rolled tape for G's West Wing show, computed a bit and then went down to pick up G from school. Came back and spent an hour making terrifying sounds with the pedal and the DL4 for a while. Now it's time for guitar exercises and bed. Today, not only did I get my walking in, I resisted temptation in the form of a) pizza and b) a milkshake. And you know, it felt good.
Goodnight, Austin, Texas, wherever you are! (Just to see who's reading, anybody know a) what album that line is from; and b) whose signoff was the line it's based on? Hint: real big noses.)
11:20 PM
1.09.2001
Turns out Blogger got some new servers thanks to their fund drive. Maybe getting them operational what was keeping me off last night. You can read all about it here.
Wow. A nice productive day. Was asleep last night by 11:15. Got up a little after 6:00 am feeling pretty darn good, without even having to try very hard. Prayers and best wishes sent to family and friends, and a good meditation this morning, with the feeling, as there often is, that there is something this practice can get me to -- something that is close, but also very far away. In other words, something that is available and nearby, but which I nonetheless have a great deal of work to achieve.
Nobody in the office except HU & JL, so I was able to do some busywork uninterrupted -- followed up with Dell on the computer order, due here end of next week (not a moment too soon -- many struggles to boot up this evening), squared away an outstanding credit owed us by Amazon, and did a few office odds and ends. Tomorrow, some catching up on reading, some brainstorming, and a visit to the library.
Left work a little early and hit the Savvy Traveller for a little book/map on Seattle. Much as I hate being out of town for so long I am actually looking forward to seeing Seattle. I've always wanted to visit there. It's a bummer G can't come with me even for a couple of days.
Went up to Eddie Bauer on Michigan to get a new pack with a gift certificate from Mom and Dad (thanks a lot, Mom and Dad!) Spent a truly inordinate amount of time picking and choosing. It's funny, but I couldn't really care less about the clothes I wear, but gimmicks, gadgets and art I debate over constantly when purchasing. I think I spent an hour comparing volume, looks, snaps, pockets etc. before settling on a bag. Not the perfect bag but a darn good one. Better, at any rate, than the beat up bag I got from work last year and which has seen way better days.
Also went to the Virgin Megastore across the street and snagged an earpiece for my cell phone. Too many stories of those microwaves heating up brain cells for me, man.
Somewhere along the way I got my day's worth of walking in. Not as planned. But tomorrow, I will dedicate specific time to it. Diet-wise, I am actually not eating as much as I should be. It is not bothering me at all. This is a good thing.
The bad news is, somewhere on the way home from Eddie Bauer a headache crept in. Not a skull-splitting apocalypse like yesterday, just a nagger. On the opposite side of the head from yesterday's. Still there, though less than before. Just so aggravating! I have acceded to G's request that I see a doctor. Chances are it's related to our constant use of forced-air heat, me sleeping on my back, the wacky weather, the pressure settings on my CPAP (sleep apnea) machine -- or some combination. The latter is a good candidate because it always feels like a pressure headache. Maybe my sinuses are messed up. Whatever, it has to go away because it is driving me crazy. I had this kind of low-level headache for a week through Christmas, then I was better post-New Year's, and now two days in a row with a headache again. This is very unlike me. Some of my coworkers, as well as G, have complained of headaches more often than is usual. Maybe it is the climate. I can't WAIT for spring. It's so miserable here that a few days in 45-degree Seattle will be like a trip to the tropics.
G brought home some nice aquarium plants to decorate Gil's home. He only had the one little clover plant in his big tank and he actually chose to hide behind the heater instead when freaked out. Now there are four cool plants in there and he has more things to interact with. Just fed him.
Not exactly on a related subject -- cooked some nice broiled salmon for our dinner and finished my lunches for the week. G is studying, and I will now practice guitar, clean the floor of my space, tidy the kitchen, and go to bed. All in all a good day and commitments met!
9:59 PM
Written January 8, 2001 9:33 PM
Blogger seems to be down this evening. Probably -- hopefully -- part of their upgrading process. One thing I will NOT be doing tonight is staying up late waiting for it to go back online. So I am writing today's diary entry in Outlook, loading it on my Palm Pilot and posting it tomorrow morning from the office.
All told I did not get to sleep until 3:00 am last night. This morning I awoke at 6:00 with a thick, pasty head and a throbbing headache which grew worse and worse as the day progressed. Meditation was extremely difficult. I debated calling in sick but decided against it. So, in pain, I packed all my things and went into the office. Coworkers commented on how horrific I looked and indeed my headache got worse and worse as the morning droned on. Finally around 12:30 I couldn't take it anymore. I left work for the afternoon, stopped at the Walgreen's for a few things, and went home to bed. Promptly went to sleep until G came home around 4:30 or so.
All of which begs the question, why did I stay up so late? Part of the answer is, I slept so damned late on Sunday that I wasn't really bed-ready. Part two is, I ignored my better instincts and did not just MAKE myself go to bed. Another part is, I overcommitted myself and ran out of time to do everything yesterday, so I stayed up late finishing up. All told, I blew one of my commitments, which was to get the proper amount of sleep each night. Breaking this commitment had repercussions on other commitments.
I know from experience that with less than 7 hours of sleep I am a miserable creature. More than 9 and I am also a groggy beast. Getting up is always a challenge for me regardless.
The important thing when you break a commitment is to recommit yourself. Hence, my very early night tonight.
Tonight was G's first night at graduate school. Very exciting. I went down to pick her up afterwards. As I did so I noticed that the downtown streets north of the loop are pretty quiet around 9:00 or so, and it's also a good three or four dark city blocks to the El from her school. So I will be picking her up often, at least until it gets light out in the evenings. Fortunately she has made a friend in her Monday class so perhaps she will have a walking partner for evenings when I am not around.
After G left for school I prepared some more of the food for the work week and made some low-fat chicken salad melts for my supper. Very yummy and it seemed to finally help kill the headache. The headaches I have experienced lately seem to be caused by a lack of sleep and/or sleeping on my back, which makes me snore even with my sleep apnea device. When I go to bed "out of it" I seem more likely to fall asleep on my back. So even more reason to get to bed early and in possession of my senses.
After eating I did some laundry and cleaned up a little, then went to pick up my wife. Back home now, writing this up, guitar exercises and then it is early to bed.
10:10 AM
1.08.2001
I am appalled to note that, as I look out the window before heading to bed, it is snowing. Again. How long, oh Lord, how long. But the good news is, Wade Phillips got fired.
1:46 AM
Dire news on the work email wire this late evening. Good friends are seperating. Good wishes go to both of them in a trying time.
As you can see by the time of this posting, it's another late night. However, this evening, I will be going to bed in scant moments. Last night stayed up looping until 3:30 in the morning. Used a slide -- duh, why didn't I think of that before? Spooky.
As a result of my late night, I was less than enthused when the next-door neighbor started cracking ice off his alley between our buildings -- right outside our window -- at 9:00 am. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. CLANK. Then his quite lovely but also quite loud little girl started blabbing. (Fortunately she made a cute snowman out front.) I was planning to get up at 10 but the rude awakening an hour early put me in such a foul state that I had to sleep some more to shake it off. G got up and stayed up. Finally got up when urged to do so by G. Made a lovely egg white omelette with this awesome turkey bacon from the Whole Foods that actually tastes juicy and bacon-y and good (as opposed to most turkey bacon which totally tastes like dried-out ass) and has almost no fat at all, and some fat free Borden cheese slices. Good deal. Coffee, iced chai tea and a toasted bagel made the brunch complete. Watched a good chunk of the Ravens/Titans playoff while eating/dressing/etc. Very pleased that those Music City Miracle turned out to be a one-time deal. Looks like Music City will just have to go to Lourdes just like everybody else for their miracles this year. Payback today for the Titans' Bills victory last year, for me. (But then, I'm biased.) That and Miami's loss yesterday makes me as happy as a Bills fan can be in a postseason devoid of Bills.
After the game, got a shopping list together, packed up some old books and videos and headed out while G took down the Christmas decorations and un-decorated the tree. We had a big fat tree this year, as always, but it was kind of dry. I went to the used bookstore and exchanged some books for a book by JG Bennett, and exchanged two copies of Fantasia on VHS for King Crimson, Larks' Tongues in Aspic gatefold remaster (a jammin' deal but rather the artistic equivalent of alchemy) at Reckless Records, hands down the best record store in town for my money. Then hit the Dominick's and the Whole Foods, and the pet store to get an aquarium net so I could move Gil to his new quarters.
Then back home, lugging 300 lbs. of groceries upstairs. Then back downstairs with the ever-sharp-and-pointy Christmas tree, out to the trash. Always kind of sad, that. Then another up-and-down trip for the laundry. G and I cooked supper -- yet another lame recipe from that low-fat cookbook, I'm afraid, so it's time to hit the bookshop -- and then sat down to talk for a while about our budget for the year. We have never sat down at the beginning of a year, looked at our spending from the previous year, and worked out a budget to stick to. This was a very proactive step and I think we will benefit hugely from it. It's really obvious when you do this exercise where those credit card debts come from and just what they mean to your financial health.
Cleaned up and prepared a couple of this week's lunches. The diet plan begins tomorrow in earnest. In brief, it's several small balanced meals with a fat content of 25% of total calories or less, wiht a slowly building schedule of aerobic and conditioning activities. Preparing ahead of time is the key, so I like to prepare my week's daytime food all at once on Sunday.
Some catching up, and now some diarizing. And in a moment, some sleep.
I have noticed since some of my exercises in focus and alertness that I am a little more sensitive to the future. By this I mean, I feel a little more connected to the repercussions of my actions, moving like ripples in a pond forward into my life. I just had an intuitive moment of this in the kitchen as I was preparing food. Something to remember and be alert for.
All in all, I am feeling pretty good about life.
1:35 AM
1.07.2001
Well, Blogger has got one of their new servers up, so access to this page should be a lot smoother and I shouldn't be losing any more posts. I'm composing this offline, just in case.
Up quite late -- 1:40 Sunday morning as I type this, but G and I slept extra, extra late today. I am relishing my last full weekend off for a couple of weeks. Next Saturday morning I fly to Seattle and return the following Saturday afternoon.
We finally did get up, lunched and ordered ourselves a new PC and a new laptop online from Dell. This has been coming for some time. This old grey mare of a P133 is on its last legs and is definitely not up to the new generations of software. Meanwhile G begins graduate school on Monday and will need loads of computer access to do her schoolwork -- lots of stats and math and such -- more than I will be able to cede; I work on this thing all the time. Hence the laptop. One of those things that you really do need and really can't afford but the need wins.
Afterwards, we ran some errands. My fish needs his water to be in the 70-80 degree range to really thrive. Trouble is, my space is quite chilly and the water is more likely to be in the low 60s. A simple matter, I thought, to get a little heater for his bowl. Not so. The smallest heater we could find, at the Petsmart megastore or the aquarium store, required a tank. So, my little Betta fish ends up with a 5.5 gallon aquarium. Pretty funny, a $3 fish and about $40 worth of fishy apparatus. He is the coolest fish, though. He will need some more plants in there to not look ridiculous. I hear there are some breeds which can groove with Bettas. Perhaps he can have some company.
We then went to the Container Store and got the necessary Rubbermaid items to bring my lunches to work for my eating plan, got some frames for the lovely pictures G got me for Christmas, and looked in the Cost Plus for a desk for her. In her room in the apartment is her dollhouse, her old bookcase and a filing cabinet -- no work surfaces to speak of. It would be nice to make her a viable work space. One problem is that it is kind of a transit zone. The back door is there. As a result we have been leaving lots of crap by the back door -- shoes, trash to go out, etc. -- so it is hard to make it "her space." We'll work on it.
Then we had supper at a Bar Louie spinoff ("lou lou") on Damen. Pretty good pizza and ziti, and affordable. (Something had to be today.) Then to Webster Place to see Castaway. Definitely held one's attention and a typically engaging performance by Hanks. We both felt kind of so-so about it, though. Just when the story turns a corner and becomes really interesting and challenging, it moves toward a forced, unsatisfying and almost arbitrary ending. It felt either too long, or too short. I don't want to say more so as not to ruin it. Overall, thumbs down in the theater, thumbs up as a rental.
Then, back home. Set up the fishtank and the heater and thermometer. Gonna let the temperature stabilize overnight and then move Gil into his new home tomorrow morning, among many other little things on the list. I pruned the little flowering plant I have in my space, then watered it and sprinkled the little blue and white flowers and the leaves with some water. When I did, little beads of water collected on the petals of the flowers and magnified the little ripples in the petals. It was very beautiful and I don't think I would have stopped to notice without some of the work on mindfulness and attentiveness I have been doing lately. It would have been a shame not to notice.
As far as my aims go, today was a day off from guitar practice, although I am going to play a little before going to bed. Otherwise commitments met. Now a little play and some sleep.
1:53 AM
|
|
| |
|
|
|
