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This is my old weblog archive and is no longer actively updated. Please visit this link for my current blog.
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Michael's Diary -- 2001-2003 Archive
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2.23.2001
This has been one of those weeks that d-r-a-g-s on and on no matter what you do.
Had an interesting phone call this afternoon. An appointment will follow. The future has, perhaps, started beckoning.
Stayed home in the morning/early afternoon to work on a logo. As a result, had a nice breakfast! G stayed home to catch up on schoolwork. Post-work drinks was tranformed into a dinner at Shaw's which I was not interested in attending, being a) in the same somewhat grouchy mood I have been in; b) looking forward to bowling. Bowling got effectively cancelled so instead I had an excellent time playing guitar watched some of The Big Lebowski, too, to cheer me up. Truly one of those rare movies which gets better and more enjoyable every time you watch it -- literally. Either it's the anticipation of the funniest bits, bits you didn't remember from last time, or the bits you notice for the first time.
G came home telling hair-raising tales of being out with the girls which need not be detailed here. I am up way too late. Maybe it was the (find of the month!) extra lowfat Starbucks Latte ice cream. Amazingly good (a little weird on the mouth-feel) but well within an acceptable fats range! And delicious! But, I fear, maybe laden with caffeine. Which has no worn off. Yawn.
Gotta be fresh tomorrow. Going to DisneyQuest with friends in the afternoon!
1:49 AM
2.22.2001
"I wasn't myself today." What an interesting expression that is. The best way of describing how I have been feeling of late: not myself. "Not my good ol' self." What a strange notion. Who am I, then? Or perhaps the beter question is, who is "my self?' Well if you're expecting an answer you're reading the wrong diary here.
Every once in a while time, space, biochemistry and happenstance -- some blend of those elements -- puts me in a kind of brown study. Sometimes there is one particular irritant that sours me in a general way -- the way, as I was explaining to G today, having something in your eye renders you incapable of enjoying anything going on around you. You can't see the thing clearly and it sure feels a hell of a lot bigger than it actually is. But it is annoying and distracting and kind of makes you uncomfortable doing whatever you're doing. Well, I have kind of been feeling that way. And the particular irritant, which I can't really discuss here -- let's just say a situation at work -- has done two things: distracted me from my aims and goals, and made me reevaluate several key touchstones. So, if I am to turn this particular disadvantage -- feeling like I have sand in my trousers all the time -- that's where to start.
Writing a little about this has helped to clarify this notion some.
Reportage wise, got the proposal out. I have been building a piece of business for two months that I hope goes well. In God's hands now. Didn't do a hell of a lot after that. Drinks after work tomorrow -- actually, just decided to look forward to that a lot. Came home and fed G, and ran her down to school because she was running late. Stopped and wallowed in self-pity by buying a used DVD of Jurassic Park. The good thing about DVD is that you can watch all the good parts of a generally kind of crap movie like Jurassic Park in about a half hour.
Surprising though how current and good the graphics still look though.
Watched a little DVD, ran an errand, picked up G, stopped at David's to drop something off, and home again. A late supper of a chicken breast sandwich with -- a mayo I made of guajillo salsa and fat free mayo. Some fta-free pretzels and yum, I feel better,
12:36 AM
2.21.2001
Today, not a lot to talk about. G reminded me to post, expecting some thoughtful remarks based on last night's entry. Won't be hapening tonight, but today wasn't a bad day. Still feeling a little disconnected. Ate the right things today, except for (gasp) real cream cheese on my bagel. Other than that, Healthy Choice ham on a baguette with nothing else, salmon, peas and a baked potato for supper, and some reduced fat Wheat Thins, which are just a smidge above the 25% of calories from fat limit. But they are just as good as the original flavor so I don't get the difference.
Last night I taped Ink & Paint Club off of the Disney Channel. This is the only Disney Channel show which features vintage Disney shorts, and they bury it at 4:00 am. Too busy showing crap animation like Goof Troop and dopey teen pop star shows during the day. Anyway, last night's was called "Disney Firsts" and had, at least, Goofy's first appearance (in a 1930 Mickey short) and Donald Duck's first appearance (in "The Wise Little Hen," a Silly Symphony which incredibly has an entry and comments at IMDB.). "Hollywood can be a cruel place & Peter Pig's attempts to build a movie career - he worked for a while as Porky Pig's stunt double - proved a failure. When last heard of, Peter Pig was living in a small apartment over a garage in Pomona, California," writes one wag. And you thought I needed to get a life. I haven't watched the rest but it looks fun.
Came home from work today and played around with the X-Wing game, which is incredible despite the horrible voice jobs by actors playing roles in the story. Made supper after watching a very funny episode of Frasier.
Finished Bob Thomas' bio of Walt Disney today, so I now turn to the second book by Thomas, focusing on Walt's brother Roy and the actual nuts & bolts financial saga of putting the company together from scratch, called Building a Company. I expect to know everything about the Disney organization within the month. That's how I am, when I take an interest in something: voraciously sucking up all the information I can lay hands on. It's a boon and a curse, I suppose, depending on the object of attention.
Yawn. Time for bed now. I want to get up on time instead of oversleeping as I have. I also have a phone call to make in the morning that would be imprudent to speak of here...
12:10 AM
2.20.2001
So, no, I haven't given up on keeping the diary. I just needed a few days to unplug. Now, I'm back.
Reportage for the weekend: Friday, came home, ate Leona's take-out for supper, watched the rest of Fantasia. Went to bed.
Saturday, slept too late, got up, ate bagel with scrambled egg whites and lowfat cheese and bowl of Total Raisin Bran, current fave cereal. Dicked around for a while. G & I went to the Best Buy and procured Star Wars X-Wing Alliance for the PC (it hasn't left the drive bay since), a new microwave, and G's video pick, Shakespeare in Love. A cute, original and funny movie, sure, but seven Academy Awards? Ludicrous. Will people be talking about this film in ten years as a milestone in cinema? For that's what I think an Oscar should be awarded to. Like, say Saving Private Ryan and its Normandy Beach sequence. SPR is by no means the greatest film ever made, nor is it whooly original, but it is far more a piece of cinema than SiL. But I digress. We then went to the Map Room, probably the coolest bar in Chicago, for "Beer School," a night of beer tastings with a brewer. Delicious! Then home; I went to friend Michael's to hang with a buncha the guys.
Sunday, nothing doing. Went out for breakfast -- real eggs, sinful sausage. Stopped at Uncle Fun, just the greatest store ever, and picked up some amusing doo-dads. Watched a fairly dull X-Files and stayed up too late playing Star Wars games.
Today, woke up, went to work, finished a proposal draft, stopped at a (crap) bookstore that was going out of business and browsed two more on my way home. Having only purchased a cheap Chinese low-fat recipe book, I arrived home to many phone messages. Byt the time I returned them all and ate a chicken salad sandwich, it was time to pick G up from school. We stopped at the store on the way home and loaded up on some needed groceries. Then computing.
Now, a quick return to diarizing that has taken twice as long as expected.
I hit a spot there for a while where, truth be known, I didn't give a good damn about my commitment theme for the year. Work anxiety, general February blahs (who said April was the cruellest month? T.S. Eliot? Obviously he didn't live in Chicago in February). I have been rethinking some things, in light of things I have learned and read since the beginning of the year, while I haven't thought enough about others. I am thirsting for spring.
I just wrote, and deleted, a long, somewhat ranting post about how I have slipped up commitment-wise in this way and that. This is precisely the kind of self-negating "beating up on myself" that I have to avoid. So instead I am doing something positive. I am scheduling an appointment with myself to review my commitments and personal mission and create a corrective approach. This is necessary in several ways, not least because I am considering my career future in a new light these days.
So. Yes, I have slipped from the path of righteousness. But it's all about being conscious of what's happening, and taking some steps to change it, right? So until I have thought out what I am going to do about it, I will keep my missteps to myself for today.
1:45 AM
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